portugal

It is no surprise to anyone who has ever traveled with me / tried to organize or plan for something with me / or just watched me try to organize or plan something that my poor memory skills & indecisiveness can make these things rather difficult.  Therefore, I get lost…all the time.  And traveling by myself has brought this out ten fold.  But remember how I said I like traveling alone?  It’s because I am allowed to get lost, since I’m not affecting anyone else’s experience or schedule.

Anyway, back to the main point I am trying to make here:  I am pretty much the most awful person with directions, ever.

Number One.  I cannot remember things.  So when I read simple directions and tell myself something like “first left, second right, second left”, by the time I get to the first intersection I’m checking the directions again.

Number Two.  I always choose wrong.  If I have to pick right or left, one of two things, etc, sometimes I go with my gut.  And then I’m wrong.  And lost.  And then other times I go with my gut, and then purposely choose the opposite, because I always choose wrong.  And I’m still wrong.  And still lost.  {Or maybe you could say I was initially right, but it doesn’t even matter since I WENT THE WRONG WAY AGAIN.}

So naturally, when I arrive in Lisbon, I am fortunate enough to have to use a few modes of transportation to reach my hostel.  First, I get off the train at the right place, success. {By confirming with no less than two people sitting near me on the train.}  Then, I know I have to navigate the subway.  Starting off safely, I decide to wait in line at the train station ticket counter to ask exactly where to go: I hold my iPhone up to the glass and ask with a smile, “how do I get here please?”  {It’s zoomed in on the name of the subway stop I need.}  The woman points directly behind me, down the stairs marked by the sign “Subway”.  Awesome, I thought that’s where I need to go.

I walk down the steps and see both an automated machine and a line of people waiting to buy a ticket from a physical person.  I choose the no line, automated machine.  And I actually get the ticket in no less than three attempts.  There were two machines, obviously I pick the one that doesn’t accept cash at first.  And then forget to choose English.  And anyway, I am now scanning my ticket to enter the subway and I hear a train approaching.  All of sudden, people are running through the turnstiles sprinting for the train.  I do know we are at the very end of this particular subway line, so I figure there is only one direction this train can possibly go.  I start running with everyone else, down the stairs and hop onto the train.  I’m all, this is perfect timing for once.  Wrong.  I have no idea where we are come the first stop, because it is definitely not “Cabo Ruivo”.  But I can’t just get off, I mean I sprinted onto the train at the very last second and everyone is still staring at me.  So I wait one more stop and then casually get off the train as if I know what’s going on.

Ok so fine, let’s just reverse direction and try again.  I walk up and over the tracks and down to the other side.  I get on the next train and low and behold, do not go back where I came from.  But this time I figure out where I am by staring at this map above the door:

People, I started at Oriente, end of the pink line.  Hence why I jumped on the train – you would think it could only possibly go to Cabo Ruivo.  But as I said, wrong.  And then, when I got off at the second mystery stop and tried to reverse directions, I ended up on the yellow line.  And from the stops, I figure out I was at Saldanha, going towards the green line.  I need to get to the end of the blue line, Santa Apolonia.  And I couldn’t possibly going the correct direction on the yellow line, I mean what kind of a blog post would this be if it was that easy, right?  So instead of trying to “reverse directions” again, I just wait it out until I connect with the green line.

By now, I am no longer running for trains and I get it together.  I figure out what the hell is going on and transfer to the correct green line, and then blue line.  And as I am sitting, patiently waiting for Santa Apolonia, I realize I have been on every. single. line. of the Lisbon subway system.  #winning

But on a brighter note, I did snap this photo of an advertisement while on one of the lines, which amused me since I haven’t thought of this song in years:

And on another brighter note, my hostel happens to be right off the tram lines (above ground electric trams), so it’s practically impossible to get lost.  I literally just have to follow the train tracks embedded in the cobblestones streets.

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